Grab a drink, and let’s get personal!
My drink of choice: Kraken, and apple juice … it’s perfect, and not too sweet. What’s your drink? Let me know down below!
I don’t have enough hands and feet to count how many doctor’s appointments, and medical tests I’ve had this year, so it’s time for a little update. It’s no secret now that I have a number of mostly undiagnosed chronic health conditions – I’m reaching ten years undiagnosed soon (maybe I should throw myself a little party). It’s the reason I started this blog – I really wanted to help remove the stigma that surrounds both sex work, and sex and disability by starting a conversation on it.
I starting camming because it was accessible to me – I could work when I wanted, where I wanted, for how long I wanted. However, nowadays more often than not camming the way I used to has become impossible for me to sustain as my main source of income. The two hours on cam, the hour before prepping, and the hour after decompressing means that my body is ‘on’ for over four hours. And let’s not go into all the off cam work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it – and still do, but I’ve realised that it drains my body massively, and more often than not it takes up all my spoons for the day. I’m realising more and more that though I’d love to cam regularly again, I can’t.
The realisation ties in with this year’s theme. I decided to chase a diagnosis this year, and quite recently the doctors have been throwing about some pretty scary words in regards to that diagnosis – which might actually turn into a few diagnoses. It may be nothing – which is always the hope, but my body has been doing some pretty weird stuff lately. I have lived with chronic pain for ten years. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be living with it for many years to come, but the scary part is with what the docs are saying it might get worse. For my own piece of mind I won’t go into it – also for privacy reasons, there are people that read this blog that I’d prefer not to.
But, what does all this mean?
You will still see me on cam sites from time to time. I’m aware I’ve not been a regular cam model in quite an amount of time – we won’t go into just how long. In some ways I always knew that camming wouldn’t be a long term thing for me and my body, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I’m turning 24 this year, I expected my body to last until at least 25.
Some of you will have noticed I’ve veered more into FemDom – I was actually my plan for the future and something I envisioned doing long term – sessions, clips, and guidance, my timeline has just sped up a little. So, if you ever fancy dabbling with FemDom, you know where I am.
I will forever be grateful to the cam model community, and the lovely people I’ve met because of it. Camming will always hold a special place in my heart. I’m not saying that I’ll never cam again, but I am saying I don’t think I’ll ever be able to regularly cam again. I hope that I prove myself wrong, I really do. But, I’m being realistic, and putting my health first.
In the upcoming months you’ll (hopefully) see a few of the projects I’ve been working on whilst bed bound. I’m extremely excited about them, and I hope that you will also be excited about them. If you’d like a little hint of what I’m doing, then sign up to my newsletter. I’ll be teasing you all with the details in the upcoming weeks.