My FetLife Inbox, Part 2

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It’s a new year, this means men everywhere (and some women, though I get more messages from men) have decided to fulfill their New Year’s Resolution of being stupid on the internet. Don’t believe? Or want to see for yourself? Here’s the evidence …

Confused? Read My FetLife Inbox, Part 1. As always, this post is best read whilst listening to Aria Da Capo.

1. This little gem was the inspiration for Part 2, I was on the phone when I received it, and then couldn’t stop laughing. The thing that made me laugh the most was ‘into’ … ‘into hanging’. Unless autocorrect was having a bad day, how does – presumably ‘it’ turn into, well ‘into’. It’s really quite something.

2. I mean, how could a lady resist such temptation? Also, this is only 1/3 of the message.

3. The suspense is killing me …

4. I mean, seriously? It’s not that hard to actually read a profile … (or so I thought).

5. This is a gem. I mean, really – it will go down in the history books of FetLife messages. From this message I have introduced many a friend to phrases like “for a short while not too much” and “I like this one a good starter”. Classics.

6. If you’re going to be lewd and then apologise for it, how about you just don’t do it in the first place! Also, “titys” … “titys”.

7. Oh yes Yoda. Talk dirty to me.

8. Does it need to be medicated?

9. Try reading it without punctuation, out loud.

10. I can’t quite give a solid reason as to why this one makes the list – first read through, it’s a pretty standard message for FetLife. However, when you read it out loud (much like the one above) the message really comes to life. Pay close attention to the pronunciation of “laytex” and “babez”.